My parents have always said I'm a night-owl, but a strict bed-time growing up kept my late-nights in check. I did tend to indulge on the weekends, and would stay up and sleep in as late as my mother would let me.
My family is the opposite though. My dad is usually up by 5AM, my mom typically has to be at work by 7AM, and my little sister is still in school. Both of my parents have always believed in sticking to a sleep schedule of some sort, and therefore on the weekends, sleeping in until 7AM is a big deal.
This would be all fine and dandy, except when my mom is up, she expects everyone else to be also. She will deny this, but it's true. And would it be awful to say that this is one of the biggest reasons I don't think I could live at home?
When I go on breaks, she has gotten so much more lenient, and I have to admit I do enjoy the schedule I find myself on when I'm at home.
When I'm at school, on my own... Different story. A lot of you will probably notice that I comment really late, or am on twitter at strange hours. I usually schedule my posts for different times in the week, but most often they are written well into the night.
The sleeping though has gotten worse, and now I'm convinced that it is full-fledged insomnia. I have the hardest time falling asleep before 3 in the morning these days. I'll lay in bed for hours staring at the ceilling just waiting for sleep to come and it doesn't.
I'll wake up the next morning when the dogs are ready to go outside for their morning bathroom break, tell myself I'm going to stay awake, but usually will fall back asleep until later in the afternoon. The tiredness that I try so desperately to summon in the night consumes me during the day and I can't do anything to pull myself from bed.
Something has got to change. At first I thought I could live with a strange sleep schedule and keep a normal life, but I'm realizing that so much outside of my sleeping is being affected. Sleeping in means I'm not eating until later in the day, sometimes my second meal doesn't happen until close to midnight, and everyone knows you're not supposed to eat that late. I heard someone today say no carbs after 3PM. I'm not keeping in the best contact with my family and friends. They all tend to keep normal schedules, and my schedule is so different from their's that with the time difference it's hard to find a way to communicate besides email.
My view on reality is changing. My days are so short, and I've always been affected by seasonal changes. One of the best things about me living in Florida (at the beginning) was how much sunshine I was able to soak up even in the winter months. Since day-light-savings though I feel like I'm missing out on so much of my days
I don't feel normal and I feel like I have to wake up.
Most of you all know I'm moving in less than a month now, and I feel like I'm going to be asking for a lot of help and motivation in the next coming weeks. I want to change my life for the better, be healthier and to join the realm of the normal humans out there.
I'm going to use this blog for a little while to build a portfolio of sorts, filled with different goals, tactics and techniques to try to change my life.
I'm going to try different fitness routines, recipes, eating techniques, crafts and so much more. I want to try to put together meal plans for the future, routines and so much more.
I want to reach out to you all, people who inspire me through your blogs about your days that may seem so mundane to you, but are so foreign to me. I would love a few of you to guest post with your tips, maybe if you've ever been through this you know how to come out of it... *Please email me if you are interested*
Mostly, in a few months, when I'm hopefully well into my new routine and living my new life, but maybe find myself a little discouraged, I will be able to look back and find the inspiration that I need.
I hope you all will stick with me through this exploration process. Just know that I expect myself, and therefore this blog (which has become so much a direct extension of me) to grow and change in an exceptional way.
I hope you'll follow along with me on this journey!
<3 <3 <3